Hey I’m back lol, couldn’t leave you guys without something to read could I? Today i’m not going to write about something that has been bugging me or the earth or my views on it, i’m going to write about a disturbing dream i had last night that was so strong and tragically beautiful, i woke up with tears in my eyes. I don’t know if any of you have ever had one of those dreams that shake your souls, that make you wonder if it actually happened or not. This is probably going to be a very long blog…enjoy
“you see things and you say why? but i dream things that never were and say why not?” George Bernard Shaw
“A dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world” Oscar Wilde
It started off with me coming home from art college, my apartment was situated on the poorest part of a town I didn’t recognize. All of a sudden someone came running towards me and grabbed me and we started to run in the opposite direction. It was frightening that I didn’t know what was happening, let alone the stranger that was holding my hand as I sprinted beside him. I tried to ask what was happening but he just kept running. Suddenly I heard an explosion behind me that sent us crashing towards the floor as he fell on top of me. It was only then I noticed that he was very familiar though I was sure I had never met him before, his brown eyes held a cold hard stare to them even though they were partially hiding by his black glossy curls. He then got off me and picked me up with his strong built arm, his hands were oddly weathered for his age. He muttered coldly that I should be more careful before turning his back towards me
“Thank you but how did you kn-?”
“Never mind just watch out for more of those” he said softly before walking off
Though dreams aren’t really spread out into days, what felt like the next day, I was in class sketching the composition in front of us when he walked into the class and spoke to the instructor, since the only seat was next to mine he came and sat next to me and scowled
“you again” he growled. I was shocked at his anger and what I had done to cause it but I mostly kept to myself the lesson. However, once in a while I would glance over at him and watch him sketch. He was talented no doubt and his attention to detail was unique. I sized him up to be about my age 19 or so(I was 18 in this dream) and he was oddly attractive, not drop dead gorgeous but not ugly…more beautiful but not in a feminine way, in way like the people in the Sisteen chapel ceiling. After the lesson as I was usually the last one to leave because I found a haven in this place, I noticed he stayed with me watching me as I flipped the page and drew people from my mind.
“You are very good”
“Thanks”
“Would you mind teaching at a shelter for kids? I kind off need some help”
I paused in shock and turned to look at him properly which caused me to catch my breath. The familiarity of his features astonished me but I knew I had never met him before.
“Why?”
“Look if you don’t want to help you can say so” he snapped. I had gotten used to his constant biting so I just stared at him and whispered sure I’ll help.
“Good we leave now”
“what but I need to-” before I knew it he was grabbing my hand and we were running again.
When we got to the shelter there were about six children that were abnormally underfed and some of them were dirty with tears on their faces. The smallest one was hiding behind him and my heart broke, she looked exactly like him with beautiful big brown eyes and her thumb in her mouth.
“Javier who is the pretty girl?”
He picked her up and kissed her head.
“She is going to teach us how to paint” straight afterward their faces broke into a grin and she replyed.
“Tommy loved painting; I miss him Javier why did he have to die”
His face had been soft before was now hard as he placed what I assumed was his sister down. He turned towards me and then sighed.
“I guess you want some things to be explained right?”
“That would be nice”
“As you’ve noticed we live behind the mural, these kids are orphans and have nowhere else to go, after my parents died, Selena and I had nowhere to go so we found this mural, they came and stayed and I can’t let them go. They have been trying to get rid of this mural to build a mall but we have refused to leave…we have nowhere else to go, so they throw bombs occasionally to scare us away, yesterday when I ran with you it was after I evacuated them but Tommy who was one of us didn’t make it…here is a picture of him”
I took the picture and saw a head of red curly hair and smiling green eyes looking at me as he held what looked like a basketball in his hand. And then I looked up and saw Javier crying crouched on the floor on his knees. I knew it wouldn’t be wise to touch him but I crouched beside him and held him as he cried in my arms. The rest of the children came around us and hugged us cried with us. Even I who didn’t know this boy couldn’t help weeping like I had lost a loved one. In all my life that I had led alone(my family didn’t seem to be in the picture in this dream) I hadn’t belonged anywhere but here. And I wept like little Tommy was mine. Selena then held my cheek as I stared into her brown eyes and couldn’t help noticing the difference in skin tone between my chocolate colored skin and her caramel skin( Javier and Selena where a mixed race) and instantly I loved her deeply which scared me. How could I love them…all of them this deeply so quickly?
“We want to paint the mural in honour of Tommy…will you help us? “She said in her soft spoken voice, something I realized Javier had as well…soft like a lullaby. I nodded and we all headed outside to stare at the mural that was six feet by six feet.
And we painted; it was a beautiful scene, a park with hills and a river that we decided to call after Tommy. In the scene everyone around had laughter filled in their faces, under the blue sky the children laughed with cotton candy in their hands, the adults were in a circle dancing to an unknown folk tune and the elders sat by the river dreaming together with smiles on their faces. The children painted with their hearts editing and adding animals, balloons and anything that evoked a sense of happiness, a happiness that was obvious they had never had or felt before.
Javier and I worked on the center of the mural, where we had decided that we would paint what we thought were Tommy’s parents with Tommy on his dad’s shoulders.
Day after day we painted but also day after day they terrorized us even more and each child one by one died and as our hearts broke the mural, our only hope, became more beautiful that we could have imagined. We were quickly running out of paints because the money had to be kept to keep the children alive, buying food and supplies and medicine for the diseases that started to plague the children.
I had grown to love them like my own children and Javier more than a friend, and he loved me in return. At some point the children named us Mummy and Daddy and selena would tell the others that I was her sister. We had been through so much together, that I couldn’t leave them, and it terrified me to…I suggested them coming to live with me but they all agreed that they wouldn’t fit so I moved in with them and the money I had saved for the next rent went into medicine, food and paints. We had nearly finished the mural apart from the couple and Tommy and the little sister holding the mummy’s hand(we added her because Selena told us that he had one who had died as well).
One day we were behind the mural setting up for a little party for Selena, Javier decided to ask Selena to go touch up some bits on the mural when all of a sudden an explosion was heard and we feared the worst. We ran outside and saw selena lying about eight feet away from the mural, where we stored the paint supplies with some paint brushes in her hand. Javier was incontrollable but he knew there was nothing we could do, just then a car came by us and a gun peered out the window killing Javier and I. While we died holding each other facing the mural I saw our faces replace the unfinished couple on the mural. Tommy was on Javier’s shoulders and I was holding Selena by my side and we were all smiling.
).
This morning i decided to wake up a little early to see the sunrise in tunisia(in the summer it rises at around 4.30 am). And as i sat in the garden watching the sight of the sun over the sea nearly did bring tears to my eyes lol(i can be emotional my knees go wobbly at the sight of a beautiful painting hehehe). It was one of the few moments were i decided not to think but to thoughroughly feel and what i felt was the warm sensation of sunlight rays on my face, the sweet smell of the minlging of dew on the jasmines that grow there, and what i saw was the infusion and blending of colours across the sky, of indigoes and oranges and i could have stayed there watching for hours but i didnt.
Attraction.It is a problematic thing to contemplate.So many sides to it,so many different meanings and levels. Not the same as love,but tied up in it inextricably.
So i finally was able to put in some rss feeds and make my page look somewhat professional( OF COURSE NOT WITH THE HELP OF ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS THAT I ADORE CHUK!!!!!MWAH i am in debted to you MWAh!!!!!!). But i noticed the advancement in technology nowadays( yes ur probably saying DUHHHH) and i realized that the advancement is moving at the speed of light even for our generation. Have you noticed that what we we are taught in school will be irrelevent in about 3 years because of the new systems that are being invented every day that won’t need human intelligence. Now excuse me for loving old tradition but personally i would have loved it if they stopped at iphones and virtual game rooms( who doesn’t love a game that looks real? 
